It’s over halfway through the year. Have you met any of your goals that you set in January? If not, are you at least halfway there? Many people have a hard time meeting the goals they set for themselves. Especially those set during the New Year. A time where you vow to stop doing this and start doing that.
Why is that? Why do so many people get all fired up and excited about changing their life…
“I want to get out of debt and buy a house by the end of August.”
“This year, I want to lose 60 pounds and change my lifestyle.”
“I want to start dating again and participate in more social events.”
…only, to let those dreams die… fast.
Take a moment to think about the goals you have set for yourself this year. Think of one or two MAJOR goals. Maybe you want to lose X amount of pounds. Or, you might want to save X amount of money by the end of the year. Or maybe you want to learn how to play guitar.
…did you think of at least one?
Ok. Now, think of the major goals you set last year…
…and the year before that.
Did you meet your goals each year? Studies have shown that by the second week of February, over 80% of people give up on their goals set each New Year. Also, research shows that approximately 37.8 % of people in their twenties reach their resolutions each year. Sadly, this number continues to decline as people age.
The question is… why?
Why You Might Not Be Meeting Your Goals:
You think failing is NOT part of the process.
Many people give up on their goals quickly because they are afraid to fail. Yep, they have not even failed yet. The thought of letting themselves (or others) down after putting in effort is just too much to stomach. So, many people think it is worth it to let the dream go. To not try at all. Hey, then no one can say you failed…right?
But, the truth is.. failure is incredible! You should encounter failure along your road to meeting a major goal.
If not, it is lame and not big enough for you. Why is that? Goals should be hard to meet. They should force you to live outside of your comfort zone. Therefore, you WILL have failures. Best part is… there is something to learn every time you are knocked down.
Watch this 1 minute video from motivational speaker Jocko Willink.
Be prepared to be INSPIRED by your failures.
You are misinterpreting fears surrounding your goal.
Often, people will ditch their goals due to fears. The fear of:
…being too successful
…getting too “big”
…taking the limelight
…changing
…becoming a different person
…improving
…others talking about you
…others NOT talking about you.
You see? Many of us fear what our successes, big or small, will create. We fear the ripples in the water that will be created from our accomplishments. Many people convince themselves that when they have fears when thinking about their goals it means that they will never be able to attain them.
You’re not interpreting your fears correctly.
Fear means that you have chosen a life-changing goal. That you are going to be MORE if you achieve this goal. Let your fears drive you. Step outside of your comfort-zone (where your goal lives). When you achieve a goal with 5 different fears whispering in your ears… man, it feels amazing.
You think you can do it all by yourself.
If you are a go-getter, a boss girl, an entrepreneur, or an independent woman… this is most likely your downfall. You have spent most of your life “making it” on your own. You know you are strong and can get things done with hardly any help. In fact, you LOATHE asking others for assistance. When you ask for someone else’s hand, that means you are weak.. right?
No. That means you are SMART.
Many of us are taught this false life lesson. When you are trying to reach goals, you need ALL the help you can get. Especially if you are setting real, life-changing goals. The more people you tell, the more support you will get in return. With that, you will be held accountable.
If you announce to 10+ people you know that (fill in the GOAL), you will have more of a chance of succeeding rather than if you do it privately. Why? It would be quite embarrassing to not follow through. In fact, studies reveal that people who announce their goals publicly (i.e. on Instagram, on a blog, Facebook) they are more likely to be motivated to actually complete them.
You don’t take planning seriously.
Another reason you might not be meeting your goals is that you think you can do it all on a whim. Schoolwork, a job, cooking, cleaning, working out, taking care of your pets, your bills, finances, shopping, and all your other daily activities. If you think about it, you do A LOT in one week.
So…
How can you meet your goals that are OUTSIDE of your routine & comfort zone if you are NOT planning!?!
Nope. You can’t.
If you can do that: #1 You are superhuman or #2 your goals are weak.
People who attack their goals and truly crush them have a definitive method to their madness. There is not one specific way to plan. But, having your to-do list planned (that includes your mini victories towards your goals) is GOLDEN. Especially if you take the time to actively look at your list multiple times a day, crossing things off as you go.
You set unrealistic goals & expectations.
The final aspect that keeps many people from achieving any of their big goals is setting goals that are not realistic. Actually, I think this is the main reason people kick their goals to the curb early on in the process, only to make the SAME goal in the future… the same way. Why are their goals unrealistic?
Two reasons:
1. They are vague or lack specific focus.
A goal should be focused and measurable. For example, a poor goal is, “I want to be in shape.” Ok… cool. But, being in shape is different to everyone. Do you want to gain muscle? Lose weight? Gain weight? Get stronger? Be specific.
A better goal would be, “I want to lose 30 pounds by the end of November. Great. So, you know you will MEET your goal when you are 30 pounds lighter by the last day of November.
2. They fail to dissect their goal into smaller parts.
Let’s take the same goal above. Say that it is July 1. To lose 30 pounds by November will take 6 months. The beginning might be tough. You might lose 5lbs the first two weeks. You feel AWESOME! But, the third and fourth week are harder. You only lose 1 pound a week. You begin to feel like crap and give up.
Why did that happen? You were focusing on the ENTIRE 30 pounds. Instead, break the weight loss up. No need to go nuts on trying to shed the weight off like crazy right away.
Ok, so there are 24 weeks in 6 months. If your goal is to lose 30 pounds by then, you should be losing 1.25 pounds a week. THAT is measurable AND doable. Much easier to focus on the 1.25 pounds a week rather than the looming 30 pounds.
Below, I am going to give you a fool-proof process to use when working towards a LARGE goal.
If you follow these steps and are truly dedicated, nothing should stand in your way!
10 Step Process to Reaching Major Goals
1. Brainstorm
Have a long conversation with someone you can easily open up to. Or, find a quiet spot and start journaling. Focus on what you want to change in your life and amazing opportunities you want to create for yourself.
2. Identify your BIG goals
Using step #1, identify your major goals. Actively write out or type up your goals in a place you can refer to in the future. Remember, that the goal should be realistic, specific, and measurable. You want to be able to identify, in the moment, that the goal is complete.
3. Choose one & decide your “WHYs”
Choose one of your goals. Under your goal, write out a list of reasons WHY you want to meet this goal. Focus on how it will make you feel, what you will be able to do, how it will affect others, etc. You can refer to this if you ever feel like giving up. Remind yourself WHY this goal is so important to you.
4. Create a timeline & mini-goals
Decide how long you will need to complete this goal. Once you figure that out, break down your goal into mini goals you can meet. Depending on your timeline, you could have a mini-goal once a month, a week, a day, or even an hour. You can always alter this as you go through the process.
5. Display your goals
Find ways to remind yourself of your goal daily. You can put up post-its (mirrors, car, drawers, fridge, walls, etc.) or have reminders pop up digitally. Maybe you make it the background of your computer and phone. Or, it can even be a voice recording of your goals for your alarm in the morning. Get creative!
6. Develop a tracking method
In order to know your growth, you must have a tracking system. You can keep track with pen to paper, type up your results, make videos, and even take pictures. You might only feel comfortable sharing this with a few close people in your life. Or, if you really want, you can make this public knowledge on social media.
7. Get accountability partners
You cannot tackle a major goal alone and be successful. People who crush their goals have support. They have people checking in every day, week, month… whatever fits their timeline. Choose to ask AT LEAST 3 people in your life to hold you accountable. Don’t choose people who will be super nice and let you slide all of the time. Choose people you do not want to let down.
8. Work toward your mini-goals
This is where everything gets real. Use the steps above: display your goals, keep track, get accountable, and follow your timeline. Stay focused and do not give up. Remember to look back at your WHYs if you need a reminder.
9. Celebrate little victories
This step is important. As humans, we like rewards for good behavior. So, when you meet a mini-goal, do not forget to celebrate. But, (& this is important!) make sure the reward does not have anything to do with your goal. It should be unrelated and should not set you back (i.e. don’t reward yourself with food if you are trying to lose weight).
10. Review & re-assess
You should constantly be reviewing and assessing what is going on in your goal-setting process. At any time, it is OK to tweak the system. To decide you might have chosen an unrealistic timeframe or that you need more/less mini-goals. Maybe you want to change your accountability partners. Also, your BIG goal might change. The more you review and re-asses, the more successful you will be at meeting your goals.
*Repeat steps #3-#10 for other major goals identified in steps #1-#2.
*If you skipped over the 1 minute Jocko video, watch it now.
You will NOT regret it!
Are you someone who fails at meeting your goals? If so, what holds you back?
YES YES AND YES. Goal setting is great but it is not effective if it doesn’t involve any type of reflection. I am a huge fan of adjusting goals, so that they are a little bit more realistic to accomplish.
XOXO
mQs
http://www.shorelifeofm.blogspot.com
Right!? If you do not need to reflect, your goals is weak haha glad you can relate xx
YES!! First, love the Younger gif! I reference younger in my post today too! Seriously binged it all last week and cant get enough; second love the point about being afraid of the ripple effect of success! I think thats somethign we all struggle with, but especially as women since it seems we can lose friends so easily over it! Loved this!
Yay!! Great minds think alike, Rachel! I think people always think about people ditching goals when it relates to being afraid of failure or not “wanting it enough.” But, the success factor is actually MAJOR! I agree… with women, we tend to be so strange about having the spotlight. But, we need to be ok with shining bright xx
Love this! I’m definitely one of those people who find it really hard to ask for help when I need it purely because I know I can do it myself. I’ve just recently realized I do this, so I’ve started to ask for help more often and it has changed the way I work!
Carrie | https://carrieeliseandkho.com/
I’ve really tried this year to focus on SMART goals. It stands for specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-sensitive. So instead of writing on my to-do list “apply for jobs this week” I’ll write “apply for 5 jobs in digital marketing and social media per day.” It has really helped!
Tori
http://www.mooretori.com
This could not have come at a better time for me! While I’ve been sticking with some fitness goals I made at the start of the year, I recently made a pretty big financial goal to myself. It’s a little daunting, but I can’t wait to apply these tips to break it down into more doable steps!
Yes these are all so important! Absolutely love this post.
Oh, never considered the idea of displaying the timeline… I like that idea! And i think i’m going to do it!!! 🙂
This is so true! I think the most important is PLANNING! Anytime I fail to plan… I fail! Always!
xx,
Lacey//theglittergospelblog.com
Okay I always love your self-care and goal posts!! This is so helpful, especially when setting business goals, too. I love the identifying Big Goals and then building little systems underneath to be successful.
Anytime I don’t plan, I always always fail. Or something doesn’t go as well as it could have.
The biggest goal that I ever accomplished was saving over $1000 one year when I was in college. I succeeded in it by focusing on the small savings victories each week!
xoxo A
http://www.southernbelleintraining.com
Lovelovelove this! Knowing your why, having a clear plan and a support group are so so important!!!
I love this- personally, having other people to keep me accountable is so helpful in keeping my goals on track!
xoxo,
Katie
chicincarolina.blogspot.com
LOVE this article! I’m definitely guilty of trying to do everything myself. Definitely a hard lesson to learn to learn, but asking for help…really helps!
Xo,
Courtney
http://www.courtneyfashionista.com
Love this post! I always fear getting too big. I need to stop that and be more ready to work toward my goals! Thanks for sharing. x
Ash // http://www.theashtreejournal.com
I never try to set any major goals during the cliche new years resolution time! I try my hardest to keep up with my big AND small goals throughout the year! I’m currently working on planning my wedding, and right now, I feel like there isn’t much else thats bigger than that 😉
What a great well-written post! You nailed it when you said that sometimes we’re afraid of our own successes because that’s how I am sometimes. A hard lesson to learn but I’m so glad you wrote this. It was very helpful!
Amazing post! I am so guilty of doing a few of these things! I need to be more ready and willing to work towards my goals.
These are amazing tips! I totally believe in setting up a process to achieve your goals.
Oh my goodness Kait I love this so much! Just thinking my way through your process, I was already feeling motivated to crush my goals. And your points of why we fail are so so true and most of us don’t even realize it until someone points it out.
These are such great tips, thank you for sharing these!
I needed this! I have so many goals I need to work harder on.
xo // http://www.thematerialgirl.co
I absolutely love lists and I love lists about goal planning! Thanks for putting this one together!