How to Identify & Work Through Your Fears

August 24, 2017

Unfortunately… fears are common.

Fear is a common experience amongst everyone. No matter how strong or confident someone comes across as, no one has it all together. We all want to reach our dreams, we want to be accepted, and we want to be understood.

Truth is, it isn’t always easy to be who you truly are at the core. We all have fears about how people will perceive us.

The worst thing is… our choices are often driven by our fears. Those choices we make can keep us from achieving our goals because we end up settling for what is safe and comfortable.

The Comfy Comfort Zones

When you try something new, the process is usually uncomfortable. The problem is, we all THRIVE on the comforts of our lives. The second we need to dip our feet in unknown water, many of us recoil, “ooooo… too cold. Maybeeeee when it’s warmer out.”

But, pushing through your fears requires submerging (no matter how slowly) yourself into that cold, uncomfortable, unfamiliar body of water.

Below, I am going to share the process I have taken to break through my fears in the past. The best part it, I KNOW it works. It is what helped me launch my blog in the first place.

Related: WHAT TO DO WHEN YOU ARE FEELING OVERWHELMED

How to Identify & Work Through Your Fears

NAME YOUR FEAR

The first step is to figure out what your fears actually are right now. I am not talking about fearing spiders or that it will rain this afternoon.

Dig deep… What fears are holding you back from personal growth? Do you dream about quitting your job, but don’t think you can? Are you afraid to date again after that terrible breakup?

Whatever the case may be, get as specific as you can. To work through your fears, actually name your fear out loud. Go to a room (or your car), shut the door, and have a conversation with yourself.

Give life to your fears. Call them out. Stop pretending they are not lurking around in your life. This is the only way you can confront them head on.

Related: MINDFULNESS FOR BEGINNERS

DETERMINE WHAT IS BEYOND THIS FEAR

Ok, so you named your fear. Fantastic! The next step is to visualize what is on the other side of this fear you are having. For example, if you are afraid of applying for a new job, visualize what your ideal job is like.

Think of the people you will work with, the money you will make, the fulfillment you will feel, etc. THAT is what is waiting on the other side.

Continue to talk out loud to yourself to determine what resides beyond your fear. If preferred, you can also talk to someone you trust about your fear or simply journal, instead.

Whatever the case, get specific about what your life would be like if you were to CRUSH your fear. Because… guess what… it is all possible.

IDENTIFY YOUR FEELINGS

This is a step I struggle with while working through any fear of mine. You need to be truthful with yourself about the feelings you get when you think of facing this fear.

Close your eyes and imagine yourself doing whatever is scaring you the most in life.

How are you reacting…mentally…physically? Are you nervous? Do you have anxiety? Are people judging you? Are you scared?

To work through your fears, give yourself time during this practice to get uncomfortable with the feelings you are having. Sit with them for at least 2-3 minutes.

Related: WHY YOU NEED A POSITIVE EVIDENCE FOLDER

MAKE PEACE WITH “ALL THE FEELS”

Now, understand that you are simply visualizing how your body and mind might react through this process.

No, all of these feelings might not come up when you work through your fears. But, now you are prepared. What is the worst thing that can happen if you do experience some, or all, of these feelings?

It’s simple… you will survive.

Anything great you are going to do in your life will work hand-in-hand with stepping up to fear, looking it in the face, and working your way through it while experiencing all of the the feels. THAT is where the magic happens.

We are meant to feel uncomfortable so we can appreciate all of the good once we make it to the other side of our fear. You will be proud of yourself for proving that you can work through all the feels.

DEVELOP AN ACTIONABLE PLAN

Ok.. so you are now prepared to place yourself directly in the seat of discomfort because you know that the magic the lies on the other side.

Now what? Time to make a realistic and actionable plan to work through your fears. To do this, you should write down or type out the steps that you will follow… one by one.

The biggest mistake is to make steps that are large and require constant leaping. I never believe the saying, “Take a giant leap.” Sometimes, it works. But, I find that taking little steps that adds up to big ones over time provides me a larger window to succeed.

Yes, it might take you a bit longer to get to your destination, but slow and steady is better than throwing in the towel.

TAKE THE FIRST STEP

Once you have your plan developed work through your fears, take that first step. Keep your eye on the prize and don’t forget to repeat your visualization technique if you begin to lose focus or doubt yourself.

As you take this first step, remember what your end goal is on the other side.

Focus on how great it will feel once you work all of your steps.

TAKE THE NEXT STEP…

& THE NEXT….

etc…

You Might Also Like:

What are your current fears?

What are your plans to work through your fears?

previous article: Mindfulness for Beginners: 10 Simple Ways to be Mindful Every Day

next article: What To Do When You Are Feeling Overwhelmed

Comments

Heidi says: August 24, 2017 at 4:29 pm

I can really identify with this. My first child is due in a few months and I don’t know how I’m going to juggle being a new mom, keeping up with my blog, my other job, and home responsibilities. Like you mentioned toward the beginning, the fear and overwhelm are closely linked. Keeping a to-do list of specific things to accomplish instead of vague wishes helps me deal with that. I also try to be aware that the fear does not change reality unless I give it permission to, so I take action despite feeling afraid.

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:30 pm
  
  First of all, CONGRATS! Such an exciting moment in your life. Keeping lists is definitely something that can help lower the anxiety! I am sure you will be a wonderful mom, Heidi xx
  
  Reply
Gina Alyse says: August 24, 2017 at 4:54 pm

I think it’s so important to “name that fear” – I had a friend tell me this recently. It’s sometimes hard to pinpoint it but uncovering everything you feel to really get down to the root is where growth actually begins. I’m working on this myself too!

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:30 pm
  
  Yes! Sometimes it is hard to figure out what we are actually feeling & where it is stemming from.
  
  Reply
Sophie Mitchell says: August 24, 2017 at 8:30 pm

I can really identify with this post. I find it’s really helpful to write my fears down to put them into words, and work from there. xx

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:30 pm
  
  So glad you could connect with it!
  
  Reply
Jenny says: August 24, 2017 at 9:53 pm

Yes, love this post! So helpful and I’ve totally had to do this a time or two.

Reply
Amanda Faber says: August 24, 2017 at 10:03 pm

I thrive on a busy lifestyle! Sometimes blogging does get overwhelming but I have learned to step back and take a break when I need it.

Reply
Kuleigh says: August 25, 2017 at 12:34 am

It is so hard to narrow down the exact thing you are fearful of! I’m so glad you put together this post. I definitely need to hone in on my feelings and name my fears first.

Reply
thesophiadiaries says: August 25, 2017 at 1:31 am

100% great tips for sure! I think the fear of blogging comes from society’s perceived idea of successful, especially since we see so many bloggers who became successful overnight! You can do it 🙂

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:31 pm
  
  You’re so right! & we all need to remember that everyone has a different definition & way to measure success.
  
  Reply
Laila says: August 25, 2017 at 1:50 am

These tips are so important! I feel like lots of bloggers hold themselves back out of fear, myself included. I can totally relate to feeling like I have 50 tabs open at once in my mind!

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:31 pm
  
  Right!?!? It’s like our brains just will not relax when we need them to haha
  
  Reply
Cameron says: August 25, 2017 at 2:38 am

This is so important and I absolutely love your tips! On another note, so glad to hear Benny is all good and I know you’ll figure out a way to balance blogging/teaching! Worst case, you take a break while school is in session, or just cut down to one post a week. You’ll totally be fine and we’ll all be here waiting for you to be back!

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:33 pm
  
  Thanks for thinking of Benny! He is such a nut. Yeah… I’ve decided to cut back to once a week & I already feel better.
  
  Reply
Lauren Pepperman says: August 25, 2017 at 3:38 am

This post is so important! I have horrible anxiety and the only way I can get through it is by actually facing my fears which is often extremely difficult to do. I really like how you laid out all of the steps.

Lauren // http://laurensjourney.com

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:34 pm
  
  So glad I could help, Lauren!
  
  Reply
Rachel@The Confused Millennial says: August 25, 2017 at 11:54 am

this is so on point! I think it’s important to realize that your fear it temporary, and by naming like you suggested it’s easier to remove it from defining you to a visitor.

Reply
Grace Hincapie says: August 25, 2017 at 7:06 pm

All of this is so true and common I feel like for a lot of bloggers. I would say, as I have been through feeling overwhelmed & letting things slip, is to become a prioritizing & planning genius! In order to stay sane + still give attention to your blog, job & self time it’s vital that you create a schedule that you stick to. Take each step & new habit one day at a time. You totally got this girly!

xo
Grace | miss-graciela.blogspot.com

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:35 pm
  
  You’re so right, Grace! Prioritizing & planning are two things I need to focus on. I feel like I am worried about doing 30 things at once & I need to start to focus on one item at a time.
  
  Reply
Megan says: August 26, 2017 at 9:04 pm

I get super anxious and overwhelmed so I know what you are feeling so well. My biggest fear right now is trying and failing with my blog. As well as trying to navigate what to do after college. All the uncertainty is stressful!

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:36 pm
  
  Keep sticking to it & writing!!! Every month my blog blossoms, as well as everyone’s I see. So, give it time! You go this xx (So much easier to give this advice then to take it! haha)
  
  Reply
Samantha Bender says: August 26, 2017 at 11:56 pm

I love how you broke down the steps to overcoming fear. Fear is a difficult emotion to identify and overcome, but this layout makes it seem so much more manageable!

Reply
- Kait | Life as Kait says: September 1, 2017 at 3:37 pm
  
  So glad I could help, Samantha!
  
  Reply
Tori Dunlap says: August 27, 2017 at 12:00 am

That “50 tabs open” quote is so true! You need to focus on living in the moment and continuing to follow what you’re excited about!
Tori || Victori Media
https://www.victorimedia.com

Reply
Nicholle Demag says: August 27, 2017 at 12:05 am

I’m feeling the same way right now! I think the thought of heading back to school/teaching & preparing everything has added a lot of stress at least for me! I just want the year to start so I can get into some sort of routine!
-Nicholle
http://www.nichollesophia.com

Reply
Sami Mast says: August 28, 2017 at 11:45 pm

Such a great post! Those were some of my fears when I was doing both school and blogging. I didn’t want to give up my blogging life and so I had to work through those worries! So glad I made the choice to keep going!

xo
Sami
The Classic Brunette

Reply
Rachel Ritlop says: August 31, 2017 at 12:53 pm

Yesss girl! I couldn’t agree more that we have to learn how to move past “all the feels” or they will keep us from succeeding.

Reply